


absolutely smitten

by adrianthealien (orphan_account)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Vomiting/Throwing up, One Shot, Patton basically has a gay panic but he way more angstier about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 06:41:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20238421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/adrianthealien
Summary: patton is used to the feeling of love as thomas’ heart and emotions, however, when he himself gets struck by the overwhelming feeling, he becomes utterly disgusted and sick.





	absolutely smitten

Patton wasn’t a fool.

He knew this feeling all too well.

It was an odd thing to realize at such a random time, Patton thought. He was sat at the kitchen island, watching as Logan retreated into the common area and up the stairs. 

He couldn’t even remember what Logan had said to him, however, he noted that it had probably been a simple greeting as he passed by. 

Patton couldn’t help but notice the rapid pace of his heart, the sudden sweatiness of his hands, the heat flushing to his cheeks, and the sickening twist in his stomach.

What Logan would classify as an ailment, is something Patton could easily identify as love.

And Patton despised it.

This wasn’t the first time he’s felt like this, though it’s the first time he’s experienced the emotion towards another person, and it worried him immensely.

Being the literal embodiment of Thomas’ emotions and heart, Patton always felt the second-hand feelings, especially when Thomas was in love. 

But this was different, it was stronger and much more prominent. Quite honestly, it made Patton sick with disgust and fear.

A freezing cold hand on his forehead forced Patton out of his thoughts, making him jump at the touch and recoil.

The owner of the hand proceeded to copy his actions and step back, apologizing quickly.

“Sorry Popstar, you okay?”

Patton blinked. Virgil. 

“Ah, I’m just peachy,” he responded, forcing a crooked smile on his face before speaking again, “I zoned out a bit there, what were you saying?”

Virgil quirked an eyebrow, confusion clear on his face, though there was a concerned look in his eyes that Patton couldn’t help but notice.

“I wasn’t saying anything. You looked like you were gonna throw up so I came to check up on you.” 

Patton’s face contorted into that of shock as he realized that he had just been caught in a lie so easily. 

Virgil watched Patton closely, awaiting a response, but when it never came, he understood that he had to take matters into his own hands if he wanted this conversation to go anywhere at all.

“Your forehead was quite hot, you feelin’ a little bit under the weather, Pat?” Virgil kept his distance, as to not make Patton feel crowded. 

Patton kept his mouth shut in a thin line and shyly nodded. He felt lightheaded and like he was going to be sick again. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t live like this everyday. 

He couldn’t just act like nothing was wrong when something was absolutely, undeniably wrong. 

Patton was in love and there was nothing that he could do to stop it. No amount of berating himself, avoiding Logan, or straight-up denying it could change this fact.

“This can’t be happening,” Patton murmured, a tremble in his voice. 

Virgil let out an awkward chuckle, unsure as to what Patton was talking about, “I think you should get some rest, you’re probably just a little sick, it’s nothing to be worried about…”

Patton opened his mouth to refute his statement but quickly closed it and stood up from his chair without a word. He wrapped his arms around his shaky frame and clutched it in a death grip as he walked off, brushing past Virgil completely.

He ignored Virgil’s questioning voice calling his name in confusion as he desperately tried to reach his room without anyone else getting in his way.

Patton was well aware that Virgil could very likely feel his oncoming panic, just like he could feel the other Sides’ emotions but he tried to push that thought away and sped up his pace.

Remembering to breathe was the last thing on Patton’s mind when he stopped in his tracks and sucked in a breath, seeing Logan step out of his room and gingerly shut the door behind him. 

He was frozen with fear, even though his brain screamed at him to move, his body just wasn’t having it.

So Patton stood there, in the middle of the upstairs hallway like some kind of deer in the headlights. A look of shock clear on his face as he stared straight at the man who always made his heart beat a little faster in his chest when they talked. 

Logan turned his gaze from the door he had just shut towards the hallway and gained a slightly surprised look on his face, seemingly caught off guard by Patton’s presence. 

However, the shocked look was gone as soon as it had appeared and was replaced with a soft smile as he walked down the hallway towards the emotional side.

“Ah, Patton, you are exactly the person I was looking for,” he stated calmly as he stopped in front of him, “Do you happen to remember my inquiry earlier? Do you believe you still might be able to help me?”

Patton flinched, _what had he asked earlier?_, he couldn’t bring himself to remember, he was too busy staring at Logan. 

His dark blue eyes shone in the light of the hallway ever so slightly, and the little sunlight that made its way through the window made it easier to see the slight dusting of freckles on Logan’s nose and cheeks. All the sides had a tiny collection of freckles on their faces, Patton knew this, but still found that Logan’s were his favorite. 

Logan’s eyes bore back at Patton as he blinked away his thoughts, his cheeks growing more red by the second, realizing how much he had been so obviously staring.

Suddenly, Patton felt sick again, completely destroying the warm, fuzzy feeling gathering in his chest the longer he gazed at Logan. Finally being compelled to move, Patton put a hand over his mouth, clutched his stomach, and frantically rushed past Logan, fully aware of the fact that he would most likely throw up upon closing his bedroom door.

And that’s exactly what he did. 

Patton wasn’t proud of it in the slightest, he felt disgusted as he weakly fell onto his bed, knocking some stuffed animals off in the process, but he couldn’t bother enough to care. 

He curled in on himself, unsure if he should cry or not. Would it matter? Logically, no, but Patton didn’t feel like thinking logically at the moment, so he decided to force his tears back for now.

The taste in his mouth was gross and even though he had tried to wash it out, he could still taste the regret, guilt, and shame that came with it. 

What kind of mess had Patton gotten himself into? He still wasn’t quite sure but his stomach churned and he felt as though he couldn’t, he _shouldn’t_ move if he knew what was best for him. 

The click of door opening alerted Patton to someone’s presence in the room, making him flinch, especially as the light flooded into the unusually dark room. Whoever had entered must have noticed Patton’s reaction and closed the door with another audible click, engulfing the room in darkness once again.

Patton had assumed that whoever it was, they had just peeked in to check in on him, however, that thought was immediately thrown out the window when he felt the bed dip as someone sat down beside him.

Curling in on himself more and clamping his eyes shut, Patton refused to turn around and look to see who had come to visit him, not that he even had the energy to do so anyway.

“Patton,” the voice said firmly but with soft undertones in their voice. They tried to set a hand on his shoulder but Patton flinched again and they backed off almost instantaneously.

Patton let out a shaky breath as he identified the voice to match that of Logan’s. Serious and almost monotone, yet somehow smooth and confident in everything he says. Patton enjoyed the sound of his voice to an almost unsettling degree, he wondered if it was weird to focus on someone’s voice so much, but cut that thought off before he could go much further.

“Patton,” Logan spoke again, this time keeping his touches away, understanding now that Patton wasn’t in the mood. 

“Yes?” Patton answered hesitantly, his voice shaky and filled with fear.

“Are you alright?” He questioned, scanning Patton’s curled up body with a look of concern on his face evident.

Patton could feel Logan’s eyes on him, making him shiver, “No,” he blatantly answered, his voice small.

Logan hummed in response, “I see,” he said thoughtfully.

All Patton could think about was how much Logan was _staring at him_. It made his heartbeat speed up again and his cheeks flush to a deep cherry red, similar to Roman’s sash, Patton noted, desperately trying to ground himself.

“Breathe,” Logan said simply, in that calming tone that Patton loved ever so much. 

Patton breath hitched, “What?”

“Your heart rate has increased drastically upon me entering your room. At this rate, I fear you may begin to hyperventilate, I would like for you to breathe,” he explained smoothly, which almost made Patton melt, but he restrained himself. 

Patton didn’t even have to look at Logan to be feeling breathless over how much he swept him off his feet. However, he forced out a shaky, “Okay,” and took a deep breath.

“Remember,” Logan began, his voice becoming softer, “In for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, out for eight seconds, repeat.”

He did as he was told, following along as Logan counted quietly, until Patton deemed his breathing steady enough. 

Reluctantly, Patton slowly turned his head back to look at Logan, who stared back at him with uncharacteristically soft eyes and a small, contented smile.

Against Patton’s better judgement, he slowly rose from his lying position to wrap his arms around Logan and bury his face in his chest, breathing in his scent. He would berate himself for how weird that was later.

Logan let out a choked noise of surprise, not expecting the sudden contact, but welcoming it anyway, albeit hesitantly, still not used to it himself.

He returned the embrace, holding Patton close, however, he was unsure how long he could stay in the uncomfortable position, almost falling off Patton’s bed entirely.

“Patton,” Logan said again, firmly, trying to move away from the embrace.

Bashfully, Patton immediately let go and backed away, mumbling multiple apologies.

“I’m sorry, I—“ 

“_No_,” Logan immediately cut Patton’s apologizes off, causing Patton to squeak and clamp his mouth shut.

Without another word, Logan clambered further onto the bed and laid back on Patton’s pillows, gesturing for Patton to join him once more.

Patton blinked, then blinked again to hold back any tears threatening to fall. Without any hesitation this time, Patton gently laid down next to Logan, nuzzling his head back into his chest. 

“No more talking for the moment, any necessary conversation may be had later, when you are feeling up to it,” Logan stated, lifting up a hand to run it through Patton’s brown locks of hair.

If you asked Logan about it later, he’d most definitely deny it though. However, it was enough for Patton to enjoy that warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest, if only for a little while.


End file.
